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Friday, Jul 19
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
All Day Middleton's Gold Crown Hallmark Celebrates The 2019 Keepsake Ornament Premiere!
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Saturday, Jul 20
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
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All Day The 15th Annual Arnold Classic Car Show "Thunder at the Lake" is July 20th (Preview Photos & Video f
All Day Arnold Ace Home Center's Big "Buy One of These & Get One of Those" Sale
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All Day Take Train Rides Into History at Railtown 1897
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01:00 PM Spend the Summer at Big Trees State Park. Guided Hikes Every Weekend
06:00 PM The Bistro Espresso, "Music in the Park" Summer Concert Series
07:00 PM The Sequoia Woods 2019 Music in The Mountains Summer Concert Series
Sunday, Jul 21
All Day Murphys Music Fest
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
All Day Middleton's Gold Crown Hallmark Celebrates The 2019 Keepsake Ornament Premiere!
All Day Celebrate Murphys Homecoming Weekend! Something for Everyone July 19 - 21!
All Day Arnold Ace Home Center's Big "Buy One of These & Get One of Those" Sale
All Day Take Train Rides Into History at Railtown 1897
09:00 AM Murphys Farmers Market is Every Sunday From 9am - 1pm
11:00 AM Town Tours of Columbia State Historic Park Every Weekend!
01:00 PM Spend the Summer at Big Trees State Park. Guided Hikes Every Weekend
Monday, Jul 22
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
Tuesday, Jul 23
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
10:00 AM Grief Support Classes Offered By Hospice of Amador & Calaveras
06:00 PM The 2019 "Taco Tuesdays" Concert Series at Bistro Espresso
Wednesday, Jul 24
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
06:00 PM Overeaters Anonymous (OA)
07:00 PM Sugarland Rolls Into Ironstone Amphitheatre on July 24th
Thursday, Jul 25
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
09:00 AM Calaveras Democrats Meetup
04:00 PM CalaverasGROWN Certified Farmers Market Opens June 13th in San Andreas
Friday, Jul 26
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
All Day Get Your Fill of Fish & Chips Every Friday at Gooney's Bar & Grill
05:00 PM The Angels Camp Farmers Market is Every Friday Till Fall
05:30 PM The Next Concert at Cameo Plaza Coming Up on July 26th
Saturday, Jul 27
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
All Day The Hopper Connects You to Calaveras's Wine Country & More
All Day Take Train Rides Into History at Railtown 1897
11:00 AM Town Tours of Columbia State Historic Park Every Weekend!
01:00 PM Spend the Summer at Big Trees State Park. Guided Hikes Every Weekend
06:00 PM The Bistro Espresso, "Music in the Park" Summer Concert Series
07:00 PM An Evening with Jason Eady – Classic Country, Americana - at the Sutter Creek Theatre 7/27
07:00 PM The Sequoia Woods 2019 Music in The Mountains Summer Concert Series
Sunday, Jul 28
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
All Day Take Train Rides Into History at Railtown 1897
09:00 AM Murphys Farmers Market is Every Sunday From 9am - 1pm
09:30 AM New Presbyterian Church Launching in Calaveras County
11:00 AM Town Tours of Columbia State Historic Park Every Weekend!
01:00 PM Spend the Summer at Big Trees State Park. Guided Hikes Every Weekend
Monday, Jul 29
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
Tuesday, Jul 30
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
10:00 AM Grief Support Classes Offered By Hospice of Amador & Calaveras
06:00 PM The 2019 "Taco Tuesdays" Concert Series at Bistro Espresso
Wednesday, Jul 31
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
06:00 PM Overeaters Anonymous (OA)
06:30 PM Overeaters Anonymous (OA) Meeting
Thursday, Aug 1
All Day Bear Valley Music Festival Returns for 51st Year July 19 - August 4!
04:00 PM CalaverasGROWN Certified Farmers Market Opens June 13th in San Andreas

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Posted by: Kim_Hamilton on 07/30/2008 12:03 AM Updated by: Kim_Hamilton on 07/30/2008 11:22 PM
Expires: 01/01/2013 12:00 AM
:

Operation Cone Zone~By the PineTree Pedaler, Brett Loring

It sounded like a bomb hitting the house early one morning this past week. Carefully pulling back the curtains I peered outside half-expecting to find a huge tree laying across the deck. Instead, I spied what appeared to be an elongated hand-grenade neatly placed in the middle of the walkway. Cautiously, I stepped outside, and while investigating the scene, there was another “kaboom!” that sent me scurrying for cover under our front porch overhang. Bouncing off the chalet roof with such force that organic shrapnel went flying around me, I narrowly escaped becoming the Ground Zero of a well-placed 3-pound conifer grenade - a shiny green, sap-laden sugarpine cone.....


Click on Photo to See Full Slide Show of Squirrel Gone Nuts!


As if to laugh at startling me so and for being out of my immediate reach, the determined rodent three stories up clung to his bombardier’s perch watching my every move. I had half a mind to fetch the bb gun, but instead decided to taunt him by approaching one of his recently-detonated projectiles. I stood below him on his target site and stared him down. Unsure of his exact species I did my best imitation of Alvin, Theodore, and Simon combined with some Rocky (of Rocky and Bullwinkel). Oddly enough, he began to chatter back, I think cussing me out for honing in on his plunder and interfering with his mission. Nevertheless, for a few more minutes I continued to cluck back at him until he took the offensive and boldly decided to shimmy on down in my direction. It was at the point that I could see the agitation in his eyes and the whites of his overbite as he scampered headlong down the bark of the tree that I decided it best to vacate the premises.

The battle’s not over yet, though. For I’m not about to let these little buggers keep me from strolling freely about on my property! As I walk under squirrel-occupied zones in “duck-and-cover” mode and try to avoid stepping in the fresh, sticky splotches of exploded sappy cones whose substance gets tracked in the house, on the dog, and somehow in my wife’s hair, I’m planning my counter-attack. I’m think I am gonna get out the pellet gun and take charge of some of those remaining nuisances. Those nuisances, of course, would be the green sugarpine cones that remain dangling fifty feet above me as potential bludgeoning devices. I think with a few well-placed shots to the stem of each cone, I can gradually eliminate the military capability of the conifer-loving rodents. As for the squirrels themselves… well, I’ll give them a chance to move onto other cone-bearing trees that are off the beaten path. Or, they can go after their freshly-dropped loot that I now chuck far down the hillside every time I come across it. Off to target practice…


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