Posted by: thepinetree on 06/19/2007 06:26 AM
Updated by: thepinetree on 01/03/2008 09:02 AM
Expires: 01/01/2012 12:00 AM
The Strange Dating Phenomena Known as the Click~By Karen Wildwood
Have you ever been out and about, looked up, noticed someone and found that almost before you even spoke to that person you ‘clicked’ with them? It’s like you knew you would get along with them just by them being who they are, which, in turn, responded to some basic whoness in yourself. In reference to the click, you sometimes hear people say, ‘I don’t know how I knew he (she) was the one, we just clicked.’ ....
This strange phenomenon can take place anytime, anyplace and anywhere. Although it can happen with anyone, think of friends you just automatically knew you would be friends with even though you’d barely spoken two words to each other, we most notice it when we are in a dating or romantic relationship situation.
Many people, like myself, have experienced the click only a couple of times in their lifetime, and some have never experienced the click at all, which makes them highly suspicious of the whole idea. For many of us who have had the experience more than once, the first time typically took place when we were young, stupid and had no clue that although you may click with someone you still have to work at a relationship from there on out.
Others have experienced the click later on in life after having relationship experience under their belts and realize that although they click with someone, which is a good portent of things to come, you still have to make the relationship work.
The first time I clicked with someone in that way was when I was in university. It was a basic eyes meeting across the room and everything else fades away experience, just like you see in the movies or on television, except there was no laugh track or cheesy music in the background. Of course, being young, idealistic and having completely different points of view on a whole lot of things didn’t actually help us out in the sustaining the relationship department. Although, I must say, it was very interesting to automatically finish each others sentences.
A more effective representation of the click would be when two of my friends first met. She was coming off of a not so great marriage and he was totally single. Her friend had been trying to set the two up for a long time with not a whole lot of interest on either side. But the setter upper was persistent, continually telling my friend ‘this guy was made for you’.
Finally after a long while the two decided to meet and as my friend puts it, ‘we just knew from the first time we met that we would be together’. They didn’t see each other again for a couple of weeks, but that didn’t matter, they both knew that they were the ones for each other and have now been married for over 30 years.
Has it been a perfect 30 years? By all means no, but the click that they experienced in the beginning turned out to be a palpable connection that you can still feel when you are around them today.
There’s no explaining these clicks we have and there’s no telling when you’ll have one. But there’s one thing about them, they don’t feel like anything you’ve ever experienced before. They’re sort of subterranean in their feel not at all like the romantic notion of instant true love that we all conjure up in our minds. In fact, it’s less a feeling than a knowing.
Your click may be with someone you would never have looked twice at when you were at a different space in your life, which means you would have missed the click altogether. Or, the reverse may hold true too, that other person may never have even looked at you to click with you at another time in your lives. If you did meet at these other times in your lives, my theory is the click would still have been there, you would have just ignored it.
So, if you’re single, or resingle, happen to be out and about, meet someone and feel that undeniably rare click, you probably should follow up on it. At the very least, you may find someone that you’ll have as a really good friend, and at the very most you may find your soul mate.
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