Weather
The Pine Tree, News for Calaveras County and Beyond Weather
Amador Angels Camp Arnold Bear Valley Copperopolis Murphys San Andreas Valley Springs Moke Hill/West Point Tuolumne
News
Business Directory
Weather & Roads
Sports
Real Estate
Search
Weekly & Grocery Ads
Entertainment
Life & Style
Government
Law Enforcement
Business
Wine News
Health & Fitness
Home & Garden
Food & Dining
Religion & Faith
Frogtown USA
Calendar
Polls
Columns
Free Classifieds
Letters to the Editor
Obituaries
About Us


Log In
Username

Password

Remember Me



Posted by: Kim_Hamilton on 07/23/2008 11:15 PM Updated by: Kim_Hamilton on 07/30/2008 11:25 PM
Expires: 01/01/2013 12:00 AM
:



Rules for Dealing with Things that go “Bump” in the Night~By the PineTree Pedaler, Brett Loring

A little deviation from the topic of pedaling, although my feet did move quite quickly upon making out the figure of this “visitor in the night.” Several local folks I have talked to just this past week have had a similar encounter at their homes…

Mr. Stinky!


Rule Number 1: Secure your doggie-door at night. You know that little slip-in panel that comes with the door? It has a purpose! Slip it in at night! By the same token, get those accessible windows shut enough to keep out curious nocturnal critters.

Rule Number 2: Garbage and/or a 50 lb. bag of dog food make for great critter temptation if left near a sniff-permeable door (i.e., doggie-door) or window. Use an airtight container for storage. Or better yet, keep it in a critter-proof building other than the one you live in!

Rule Number 3: Know who might be inclined to use your doggie-door besides Rover, especially if you can’t see who it is because it’s 2:28 in the morning and you’ve awakened in a stupor.

Rule Number 4: If you hear something go “bump,” or “crunch,” or scratch” and you are coherent enough to grab a flashlight and see that the pre-dawn user of the doggie-door has green beady eyes and a white stripe down his back, do NOT make any sudden moves! Carefully and quietly retreat!

Rule Number 5: If you are NOT coherent enough to grab a flashlight and you think that the creature is simply stirring around outside, be glad that you were unaware and unreactionary (i.e., clueless) until “normal waking hours” that the “Doggie-Door Bandit” was in fact in the hall nibbling away the corner of the dog food bag likely while you were dragging yourself out of bed to see what was the crunching sound you thought you heard outside.

As if the persistent, garbage-tipping, neighborhood raccoon wasn’t enough, I can only imagine that if I had really startled Pepe le’Peu in the hallway it’d be my family members - not the critter - who’d be taking up residence elsewhere until the air cleared! Thankfully, I fell under the graces of Rule Number 5, unaware until the next morning that I had anything to fear in the olfactory arena right outside the bedroom door! Thus I did not yell, throw, stomp, or otherwise intentionally disturb my visitor because I was completely unaware of his proximity. My stumbling toward the back door in the dark must have been enough to gently and peacefully persuade Pepe out the doggie-door and into enough light that I could make out his figure and colorings without a clue that he had already been feasting in the hall I had just walked through. Back to Rule Number 1 STARTING TONIGHT!

Well, I’m off camping soon. Gonna make sure the dog food and human food are kept nowhere near my tent!


What's Related
These might interest you as well
Local News

Calendar

Photo Albums

phpws Business Directory


Mark Twain Medical Center
Meadowmont Pharmacy
Angels & San Andreas Memorial Chapels
Bear Valley Real Estate
Gerard Insurance
Bank of Stockton
Fox Security
Bistro Espresso
Chatom Winery
Middleton's Furniture
Bear Valley Mountain Resort
Cave, Mine & Zip Lines
High Country Spa & Stove
Ebbetts Pass Scenic Byway
Sierra Logging Museum Calaveras Mentoriing
Jenny's Kitchen

Copyright © The Pine Tree 2005-2023