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Posted by: thepinetree on 03/31/2007 09:17 AM
Updated by: thepinetree on 08/01/2007 07:16 AM
Expires: 01/01/2012 12:00 AM
:
An In Media Res special: The Top Ten WORST Voice-Acted Roles in a Video Game! By Raven and Coyote
Gaming should be fun. For the most part, gaming is fun, but every now and then one of those games come along. Yes, we mean those games, the ones that you want to play with the TV muted so that you don't have to hear the corny, stilted, overblown, and/or ridiculous dialogue. Here at In Media Res, we've decided to devote this month to those games. Without further ado, here are our picks for the ten worst voice acted roles in video games. Brace yourselves....
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#10 – Captain Jack Sparrow (Kingdom Hearts 2)
The voice actor in question here was a talented man who could speak his lines and bring through his character's feelings and motivations. The problem here lies with the fact that everyone knows Captain Jack Sparrow's voice. It was a valiant attempt to mimic his voice, but ultimately the accent came across more like Ringo Starr than Johnny Depp.
#9 – Issaru (Final Fantasy X-2)
While Bartello from the same title was bad enough to be funny, Isaaru's manifestation in X-2 was depressing. The vocal talent behind Isaaru was sound enough, but the words put into his mouth by the writers of the game script would have defeated even the best of voice actors. The original Isaaru was a deeply spiritual man, willing to sacrifice his life to secure peace for the people of Spira. Seeing him recast as a combination tour guide and gameshow host was like seeing Mother Theresa doing an infomercial.
#8 – Carlos Oliveira (Resident Evil 3)
Carlos, like all Resident Evil characters, is the victim of the badly written dialogue that's become like a trademark for the Resident Evil games. What makes him memorably bad was the fact that he a) sounds a little young, and b) has what is probably the worst Spanish accent I've ever heard imitated by a white person.
#7 – Bartello (Final Fantasy X-2)
Bartello, like others who will be mentioned later in this article, was fine in his original incarnation. The Bartello found in Final Fantasy X was the strong, silent type, none too bright, but solid and reliable. At some time between the two games, something must have happened to him, transforming him from a devoted companion into a lovesick calf. The way that he calls out the name of the former summoner who he guarded, Dona, only confirms the bovine analogy. To this day, years after the first play-through of the game, Coyote's imitations of Bartello make Raven snicker uncontrollably.
#6 – Snowe Vingerhut (Suikoden IV)
This game was another title with overall high quality of voice acting. The problem is that the offender in this game, Snowe, is initially used as the tutorial character while new players are being familiarized with the world. Snowe is more flamboyant than Mardi Gras and cornier than Iowa in autumn. Coyote had to wonder how many people gave up on the game before they ever heard the portions of the game beyond Snowe's tutorial.
#5 – Wakka (Kingdom Hearts)
In Wakka's defense, it should be said that he was a likeable, well acted character... in his native game, Final Fantasy X. The more youthful version of Wakka that crops up in Kingdom Hearts suffers not so much from bad writing as from a failed attempt to duplicate the original Wakka's quasi-Polynesian accent. If you can imagine an accent that's 70% Hawai'ian and 30% Brooklyn, you wouldn't be too far from the truth. As is often the case, things seemed that much worse because of the overall high quality of voice acting throughout the rest of the game.
#4 – Dante Sparda (Devil May Cry 3)
What can be said in defense of this? Certainly the game is a prequel, featuring a much younger Dante than the previous two releases, but young does not necessarily equal obnoxious. Despite a healthy respect for his own physical integrity, Coyote felt the urge to smack young Dante around until he realized that you can't make a whole witticism out of two half-witticisms.
#3 – The Entire Cast of Drakengard
It isn't often that an entire game can make Raven cringe. And while Drakengard had an interesting concept, and some great artwork, it sounded like most, if not all, of the cast was trying to put on horribly contrived English accents, and were forced to read their lines with no more direction than “sound dramatic!” The only saving grace for this game was that the main character, whose voice grated on Raven the worst out of all of them, is struck mute near the very beginning.
#2 – The Entire cast of “Faces of Evil” and “Wand of Gamelon”
Words can not even describe the horror of these games. We've mentioned these two titles in our last article on the “Unholy Triforce,” but that's not enough to get them off of this list. These games embody all that is bad in the world of voice acting. And because seeing (and hearing) is really believing with this series, just drop “Wand of Gamelon” or “Faces of Evil” into Youtube, and see what happens.
Well, here we are guys. Congratulations for sticking with us so far! And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Let us cue the drum roll, have quiet on the set, and with out further adieu, present the number one, all-time worst bit of voice acting in a video game:
#1 – Richter Belmont and Count Dracula (Castlevania: Symphony of the Night)
Symphony of the Night was a big step for the Castlevania franchise, and the first to be released for the Playstation. And while there was plenty about the game to love, the voice acting was not one of those things. As was mentioned for Drakengard, it seems like the voice actors were given very little information about just what they were reading dialogue for, and that lack of information took what was already overly-dramatic dialogue (that reads well in text alone) and elevated it into the realm of the absurd. It's nearly as bad as the original Resident Evil. However, there's one key difference there.
Resident Evil was supposed to be corny. Symphony of the Night was not.
And the unwary player got very little time to enjoy the game before assaulted with the first batch of bad dialogue, which takes place between Richter and Dracula. For your enjoyment, here's the purely text version of that brief conversation:
Richter: Die Monster, you don't belong in this world.
Dracula: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by... humans... who wish to pay me tribute.
Richter: Tribute? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!
Dracula: Perhaps the same can be said of all religion.
Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul. Mankind ill needs a savior such as you...
Dracula: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!
See what I mean about overly-dramatic? And can you imagine how easy it would be to take this from dramatic to parody?
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So, there you have it folks! Next month, we temper this list with the top 10 best voice-acted roles in video games!
Questions? Comments? Drop us a line at In Media Res.
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